depression and excitement!

So i am kinda excited and kinda depressed,

Yesterday, Tyler told me that him and his ex were working things out, so i told him to delete my number!
I wanted to talk to Alex yesterday about everything, but he decided to be a pompous jerk and disregard me. Whatever,
Richard never texted me back yesterday at all,
Stephen came clean about something that he should have a while ago,
perry didn't try to talk to me,
My mother left for her conference,
and all and all, i am feeling a little led on by all of the men in my life..
I mean they call me their friend but when they should run to a friend instead of bottling it up they choose the bottle.. I don't like the boys in m life, I WANT NEW ONES!!
that's the depressing part...the exciting part is that,
Sarah's party thing is tonight and I plan to have tons of fun but to do that i must get ready...
so, bye.

updates....

I am ok, annoyed with the fact that i dont have another softball game this season. Its kinda sad! haha.
I wanna hangout with random people.
I dont like being the women that his girlfriend broke up with him because of me, I dont like it and he wants to hangout,so i think i am going to tell him goodbye and that i cant be his friend. But there is nothing wrong with being his friend, i jus dont kno.
I will find out and keep that information updated,
My mother thinks that i may have diabetes, so i will def keep that updated to!!!

camp and boys, mostly

so...church camp was fun and amazing!
i didnt want to go but when i got out of the vehichle I was itching to go and see all of my choir tour buddies! it was very weird...
It was fun,
now that i am back it is ok...I do want to go back to be with those people, it doesnt really have to be a camp it can jus be those people and me hanging out.
I have talked to a bunch of my guy friends, and they seem to think that i make a wonderful friend and nothing more,, I dont kno how i feel about that fact. I think it is ok because now i know that they like me and want me to be around for a reason and not just to look at me or date me, but on the other hand it has made me think that i am not date-able at all.
Hopefully that is not true, hopefully i havent found a guy man enough to take care of my amazing quirks and annoying details... :)
Yesterday,,i spent the night with an old friend and i am glad i did. She always teachs me alot about myself and my family. She is nifty to have around!
My cousin is going back to the army and i am sad about it because spent enough time with him to now know that he is pretty cool and that I do not want him to die! so i hope the lord will shelter him and help him though that so he can come back to his loving family.

I wanna go to this last game of the season! MOMMY, I LOVE YA!!

pen pal...?

Is really for some reason wanting a pen pal from prison.
My mother and sister kinda scared me but i think it would be fun.
I think it is still a fun and exciting idea because they need some one to care for them to. I really dont know why i have the urge to write a person, it really doesnt have to be a prisoner, i jus want a pen pal.
But now i am going to bed because i have to go to camp sharon tomorrow. hm. I have to be at the church at 10:30. So, i need to sleep because i have to get in a shower before then!
So...Goodnight! hm.
...my head hurts!

hm...BLAH!!

likes the way i looked today, sad i didnt get to go show me off...Blah!
boys are kinda dumb. I dont much like couples that are to cute...I am a home wrecker...blah!
Blah..is a good word, I like it because it expresses everything and nothing at the same time! haha.

random catch up!

Sadly it has almost been an entire month since i have been able to get on here.
So..to catch up....
I just got back from choir tour. I miss everyone and the time that I had will always be in my mind.
My sister is moving out. She got her apartment and she will probably actually move in on the 8th because that is when she is getting cable and internet.
My brother and I turned 16. Our birthday was on the 21st. I wasnt home. But My birthday was amazing!! Anyways, alan got his driver's lisence. I have only jus started driving. haha.
Mom went under the knife the day after my birthday. She had to have surgery on her shoulder because...I really dont know why but she has a sling and she has pain pills.
Dad got a bunch of cool things for fathers day. ONe of those things would be a wielding helmet. So, he has decided that my truck needed something extra. He wielded...i dont know what it is really called but it looks cool!
Now for the guys... I dont know. I met a couple new cool ones but none of them like me. Kaleb is nice from what I could read but I honestly only talked to him for like 2 minutes at a time. lol. I dont want tyler to get married. I miss boys from my past...And there was Austin, He doesnt like me at all, He drives an amazing loud truck but I dont like him...haha. I dont wanna like him. I dont wanna like richard either. I cant like them. They dont like me. I dont think I can like the people I want. I jus have bad taste in guys and it doesnt matter who i like because they normally dont like me. Blah, dumb boys. But i dont care!
haha. I miss blogger because I have been so stopped up.
I also got a hair cut and it looks pretty cool, if i must say so myself.
And i got a new rifle and now i am spinning sabre!
but now i must go...i should be back soon but goodness knows. I wanna go to the softball game....
jus to say...lately, i have had this feeling that i could not explain, an alone empty feeling that kinda needs to stop. hm. I also wanna cry for some reason. BLAH!!