haha. Grapes!

50th POST!!!

ha. I was working on my fashion project. It is still not done. I dont like finals. I have atleast 2 tomorrow. I think I am gonna go to sleep now because I need to be test ready. blah! FINALS! :(

EVENTS.

Today...
it was fun and random and tireing. lol.
It was Trevor and Kristi's wedding. it was fun and cute.
I love my family, even though I dont know much of them and even though ma doesnt like some of them. It is fun to try to remember who belongs to who and how we are all related.
Marissa went with us. That was cool. She was so confused and didnt talk much but it was ok. lol. Alan sucks at introducing her to the family. lol.
Then we came home and I attempted to get my lip done but the stinking guy toold us, after making 2 trips because we forgot my birth certificate the first time, that i had to be 16. It was lame!
now i am kinda sad. I don't like it. I feel jiffed!

ah..

I think spanish is easy.

blah.

stupid finals... lame! I dont much like them. AHH! But atleast after them i will get to have a summer! kinda....

wednesday...

today was eventful.
we had a memories assembl, big woop! haha.
At church, I prayed aloud for the entire youth to hear! I also got my purity ring. I love it! other then the size is a little to big for my apparently small hands. haha. but it is still amazing! I was also asked to help suzanne with a class that she is planning on teaching. I am kind of excited. I think.
Then I went to mcdonalds, even though I was not supposed to. I had fun,ish. Richard was being lame and saying much, but when I asked what was wrong, he brushed me off. He kinda confuses me. Then I went to 'write' on his truck, even though i did not have the markers. He kinda flipped and attacked me. I am scared of him! I dont know. I may like him, I may not. I do. I don't. I don't know. Anyways, he got in melissa's car and they drove off, so I got in his truck and went through his junk. It was stupid. Then he attacked me when i was trying to get back into melissa's car. I bit him. He is such a little child. He is dumb, but saying that doesn't help with the whole liking him and not liking him. ya kno. Blah!
Then I got home and my dad told me to go look up how to care for little baby mice and i did. Then when I told him how to care for them, he was like 'i cant believe that you are looking that up because we are not keeping them.' I asked why he hasnt killed them yet and he was like 'because i dont want to'. I was like gee you are very selfish, keeping cute baby mice alive and not feeding them jus because you dont want to kill them yet. AH! so i cried because i was sad.
now i feel a little better because i have vented. Melissa said it is good to vent and even whine about things because it gets them off of your chest and it takes some of the pressure off. It felt good. If only i could tell someone this in person. I am working on that.
I have to sleep now. I think. but i should.

I want to go to the softball game tomorrow, i doubt i will be able to but I want to because i will not be able to do anything with my friends this weekend, so that would be freaking swell! :)

blah

finals... :(

nothing at all

I am filling out an application for employment. I am sleepy. I want to read melissa's book. I think I am kinda stupid. not in the intelligent kind of way but as in my choices. I dont have much to look forward to this week, other then the weekend. Megan is coming to visit and I have a wedding to go to. I love weddings! :)

sorry...

for that random harshness,
but it is kinda true.
I do not understand what is it that i am trying to get off my chest.
I try not to feel sorry for myself because I know that there is always someone out there that is way more worse off then what ever I am going through. So I look through a positive window, or try atleast.

ME!!?

I LIKE....

Cottage cheese and potato chips,

squirt cheese on graham crackers,

random girls nights,

children,

internet,

music,

church,

praying,

my cell phone,

random happy texts from people,

staying in my pajamas all day,

making random weird things for no reason,

when we get along,

guys that take control to a certain point,

thrift shopping,

camping,

floating on a boat,

swimming,

meeting people,

bright colors,

hopeless love stories,

my teddy bear blanket,

my french baby potateo with legs,

my blue truck, that if you lean on it you get blue paint on you,

confusing someone when I talk,

people that get me,

my amazing family and friends, and reandom people in my life.

I WANT.....

to dye my hair,

to pierce my lip,

a puppy,

to travel the world,

a man,

one that takes control when he kisses me,

all of my friends to see me,

to understand what adults think I wont be able to,

to run away to a tree house and live in a forest,

for evil things to run the other way,

internet in my room,

richard to leave me alone about my curfew,

mother to give me a late late(or none at all) curfew,

jenni to come back to school,

to trust only those that are trustworthly,

sean to come back to me, changed,

there not to be a hole in my orange shoes,

things to be different,

to be back in elementary school,

to stop getting my hopes up,

to stop getting what I want,

a ferret,

a house like richard and lora's,

my brother to knock,

my laundry to be done,

summer to be here,

not be afraid of choir tour,

my hair to be straightened for school tomorrow,

to understand what I am trying to get off my chest by writing random things on here that i think no one will read but some one always does, even though it doesnt help at all. . .

ALL HOPES!

I was gonna go today but ma said to wait til she gets paid...BLAH!
I am at melissa's house and I wanna stay the night. Hopefully my mother will be ok with that! :)
Happy baptism day to jennifer! I love ya! :)

hoping,
alanna

My bladder is talking to me!

hello world...
I have had to pee, like 4 times in the last 30 minutes. I dont know what is the matter with me.
Maybe it is nerves, because i want my lip pierced. maybe my bladder is telling me not to do it. Oh my goodness, what if that is true?! AHHH! I am worried now....

lip?

I am gonna get a hair cut and possibly pierce my lip...
I think i want to. so whenever I get a chance, i am so doing it!

safe place...maybe?

OH MY LORDY LORDY!

I am watching cool, old, cars. They are kinda cool. loud, and polluting, but good! lol.
I am on my mothers laptop. which is cool! and my family is all here. I can hear my mother and grandma. and my brother and father. And i can smell my father's cigarette and hear the crunch of my mother and grandmother's sunflower seeds. They are within their little conversation. Alan's girlfriend is jus sitting on his lap. lol. I like this set up...
:)
I feel very safe for some random reason. hm.

People keep honking and every time I look up it is some old person. If it is a young man then he has a girl in the car with him, so i not really worried about how i look right now...

WHAT!!

why is the commerical for life insurance have a picture of peguins in the back ground?....
I dont understand it.

our show is....

WEST SIDE STORY!!

for marching band and fall guard this next year, it is west side story. I think it will be amazing because we are gonna look amazing and awesome. I hope jessi and frankie make us look amazing and not dumb. I told studdard about it and she picked our outfits out. lol. It will be amazing! I am exicted!
However, there is a slight chance that we will/could look like crazy men!

oh gee......

what is up now....?

.....I am swell and bored.
parents are down town.
sister is at work.
bro is over my shoulder on the phone with his gf.
and then there was me....
internet.

There was a softball game tonight. I went. It was ok. We won! 18 to 1!! :)
Richard is a big jerk head! He always seems to be running away. It drives me absolutely crazy!! I dont even know why...
I dont care all that much really. LIES! I do and i think that is why it drives me crazy.
I am gonna go... i think.

hm.

.........I dont kno anymore. This is a weird day. It is most definalty better then yesterday. :)





ok...I think i am gonna go away this weekend! :)

Three day weekend!

what?!

I dont like this feeling.
I cant even explain it the people that i trust with the intermost me.
I cant explain it to me.
They kinda helped but there is like an emptyness.


Our church group has turned it to a social gathering for boyfriends and girlfriends. It is very lame. Everyone is worried about what someone did with someone else and who they like now. They text most of the time. They talk the whole time during the lesson. PJ please fix it...

WHAT IS GOING ON!?

:(

I dont much like the whole finals and getting ready for them thing...

fishing...

I went fishing!! LOL
I really only fished for like 20 mins but i caught a little amazing stuart. It was cute.
The other time I spend hanging around with jennifer! We walked around and had tons of fun doing nothing...
:)

Field trips and plans for tonight...

I didn't go past my house. He went the dumb long way! BLAH!
That was a fun trip. we caught a baby fishie and three baby craw fish!
Tomorrow I get to go fishing...I don't really want to because I don't want to miss fashion design but I will because I love to miss school. UGH!
I am tired of field trips, especially the horribly planned ones!


Softball game tonight. I wonder what new things will pop out of the blue, and who will show up with who...
(ha. that rhymed!)
Garduation! I am scared of what is next. I may not ever see those people ever again. :/ But if they really want to they will find me and it will be ok. ha! We shall see...

today is...

Monday...
I am going to the stream today, in biology. Right past my house. :)
I go home with Melissa, softball and graduation.
WOOT! WOOT!

clothes :(

I hate clothes, we should all just run around naked!

I wanna travel the world. and live different lives. and meet weirder people then me!

random book thoughts!

I wanna go read. That book makes me want to be a prostitute and then maybe a guy would be pulled to me by gods grace and we would fall in love and live very peacefully, after he saved me from the many hundreds of guys that would have never truly loved me at all and the scary people that I worked for. I would love him and he would love me!
Goodness, don't u wish! But only in the books and movies...
I think i like this book because the innocence it shows. The restraint and the will power that he shows. I want some one to wait for me and have that much control and be as amazing as Micheal! He is Mr P!
OH MY GOODNESS!

parties! (PART-hahaha, brooke!)

I need to be pure... I feel that it would be beneficial to me and my future Mr P! And it would make life easy right now...
I went to a girls night last night. It was a sleepover at Sarah's and I had fun. They talked about being a woman of god. and how to stay pure and modest. I thought that what they talked about made me think alot and that was a good thing, in this case. lol. I thought about how to apply the information to my life. That's good, right? lol.
I think if I could have gotten a purity ring then it would have been more amazing but freaking false advertising! lol. I want it...Alot!
I don't know why really. I just want it.
Then at the party, Allie and Paxton were being crazy crazy crazy! lol. It was funny and random and loud. lol.
Today was also Brooke's graduation party. It was fun. lol. PUPPY MONSTER!! ha ha. After it, we went to Chris' house and sat in his hot tub. lol.
Funness! :) I love my friends.

whats next.

I am going to sleep. It is unknown when i will be back on...lol. This weekend hopefully. NIGHT!
I wanna read.
I still have to shower.
I wanna travel the world!

blogger?

sorry that i do this on here!
I dont get on for like a full week and then when i get on I feel that i need to share with you what you missed. but that is what a blog is, right? Every detail of my life and the situations that i find myself in?
sorry if it is not...

dumb storms

jus saying that yesterday kind of sucked after church. We were urged home because of the storms that didnt come until like 11. I was very much deprived of my hangout with amazing church people...ugh!
I mean i know where alex was coming from but he didnt have to flip because richard was being richard! I wish i was closer to richard and tonya and caleb and jason because then i could have stayed with them until i had to go home. Ugh! I didnt want to come home at all yesterday.
It might have helped if ma didnt yell at me alot! I started to tell her a story and she told me to shut up because she was watching tv! Honestly! Honestly! Dont you love it when your mother puts the stupid people that have nothing to do with her in front of her own children. Not only that but we have freaking tvo. the thing where you can pause live tv and rewind it and fast forward. Yeah. She hushed me for something that not only has nothing to do with her but that she could have paused!!! Yup. This is my life. Arent you glad that you are reading it now...?!

unknown...

I don't know what is wrong with me...
Hold on, i have a text message and my phone is across the room. lol. actually it is probably an email but hold on..........
It was an email. Jennifer actually messaged me on face book and it was my email telling me...
I don't know what is wrong with me. lately i have just not been in a good mood. I normally think that it is because i haven't been with my church friends but i have, alot. lol. But i don't know...it may be because the summer is coming. It maybe because i have come a sad realization that i am a dumb lonely 15 year old that doesnt know what she wants out of life, and will always be lonely. I dont know anymore. I dont have all the answers, then again it is a good thing i am only 15 because i dont have to have them all yet!!
I dont like it.
....this was kinda lame...

Today's events!

so today was ok... I had fun even though I didnt do anything and I barely said any words.
I went to the zoo this morning with my spanish class and the spanish 2 classes. I hung out mostly with my brother and perry. It was fun. Perry got spit on my a girafe and it almost liked my fingers off. It was funny. I did get liked by a highland calf. I was cute so it was ok. lol. Perry stole my sunglasses before we left the school. and then he decided he wanted to carry my backpack and that I should carry his...so we switched! lol. Then i made him hold my hand. I think perry and i are close friends and i like that because it is a refreshing change.
He helps me find a good boy and i help him pick out a good girl. lol. He was really worried when i wasnt right next to him at the zoo. He would call out my name if i wasnt right next to him. It was funny! lol. He is my best guy friend! :)
Then when we got back to the school, i had to go to biology.It was good because we disected a worm and I found out that I got a perfect score on my bug collection! lol.
I stayed after school to get some drama hours and that was good. Then I read my book and waited for my father. I like this book. It is called Redeeming Love! I like it aton! lol.
Then i came home and took a nap and then I read for an hour and now i am on here and eating strawberries. today was good. lol.

night...

I am sooooooo bored right now.
But i think i am gonna get off of here and text some people and sleep!
maybe....

GOODNIGHT!
I probably wont be able to sleep so...
I have a problem, boys. They are lame and dumb.
one of them likes to many people and is young and kinda dumb. The other is full of himself because every girl that talks to him likes him and he trys to please every one and that is all that he cares about, what other people think!
I don't know, anymore! Boys are dumb and I don't know what to do because they are lame!
I want a boy but I don't want to end up like Jess and Alex. When one person is not with the other then they are depressed. hm. ugh! lame!
bye for now!

Richard, consumes us. :(

Today was a lame lame day! It was full of Richard's dumbness and i was sad about it! Richard is dumb. And that is pretty much all that happened today. Yesterday was more fun because Melissa and i went to a movie called Taken. It was freaking awesome! lol. And then we went to see Richard's mom. She is in the hospital, I don't know when she will get out. So we all figured she needed a little visit! I met Josh there. That is Caleb's older brother. He was funny when they were all together! lol. They kept making fun of each other, saying that the other looked like something else. It was funny. Everyone was laughing. Richard was mean to me...like always!
I do not like him! He is mean and a playa and a big jerk that only cares about himself. I don't know...

Softball!

I had fun at church!

Last night, I went to the softball game in hopes of watching a great game with melissa and richard and all the normal people playing but i was ambushed! I was asked to play as soon as I got there and it kinda freaked me out. I was in kind of comfortable clothes and I could play but i really didnt want to because I was gonna call Matt.

I ended up playing. I ended up not calling Matt. and he kinda freaked out. haha.

Anyways, I feel that I played well! I was the catcher and I was all over that ball. It could be because of my brother. He used to play baseball and was the crazy scary fast catcher that wiped off the helmet everytime the ball was hit. He was a freak and if the game lasted any longer then it did that might have happened to me. lol. When I batted, I was kinda good. I didnt listen to their rule where you have to wait for a ball and then a strike and then you hit it because like everytime that I batted I hit at the first one on each pitching. That is probably why I got out...but one time I hit it and got on first and then scott walked two bases putting me on third. Then I dont really remember what happened after that but I got home. :) I had scored a point!! And it helped! however, we still lost 7 to 10. That is ok though.

After the game, I needed a ride so I hitched a ride with tonya to mcdonalds because richard was hungry. That was the first time I had hung out with them and they were really cool... Caleb got me water! Richard kept hitting me! And Tonya was funny! I think that was a good day! :)

OMGOODNESS!

Oh My Goodness! AHH!!!
i dont know what is happening? lol. i am kinda am going crazy but that is ok! :) lol.

Church is tonight! I sooooo want 50 people!

Grandpa and Austin and Breakfast!

my grandpa is back! I am happy to see him! It has been like forever since i saw him becasue he was in california. Ok well since christmas. lol. but still I MISS HIM!! He came back and gave me and indiana some things...She got a music box and a jar of shells(which broke) and then i got a really cool and big picture of the sea and dolphins and fishies and it is amazing! AHH!
I want Austin! lol. Indiana says he is really weird but i wanna judge for myself after i get to know him! lol...
My grandma is cooking breakfast now. It smells yummy!
I dont wanna leave today. I want to stay here and go to school with indiana and find Austin. lol. ok maybe!

Carnival!

Cotton candy is my drug!
normally i hate cotton candy but today it was at the carnival and i love it...ish! I had fun. I meet a boy and played games and rode rides with the cute boy. His name is Austin and i doubt i will see him ever again, however, i plan to search for him on myspace and facebook. ha. ha.
ha. and now i am hyper!!

so...
I am here today!
I got here last night and i helped set up my father and brothers camp site and then i got here and held like 9 hundred amazing kittens. they are so cute!! Then we went to walmart! I LOVE WALMART! lol. After walmart we took aton of random dumb weird pictures. lol.
Today, we are off to the carnival! I am excited but feel that it will be a huge let down...lol...so!?
But as of now i am still excited! :)

Well i stink so i am gonna shower! :)

Super Excited!

I am headed off!! :)
It is raining hard core and i am off to another great advanture with my amazing family...I am super uber excited that i get to go to the skyline school carnival and see my aunt and possibly meet new people! AHH!
My bro hurt his foot and is a total lameo because he thinks that he still needs to go on this trip of theirs. They are going to the lake for a bacholer party for Trevor!
SUPER EXCITED...
We are leaving now so good-bye! :)